The Dallas K-Swiss Tubes?

see the video here

"take dat wit chew!"

your 2010-2011 World Champion Dallas Mavericks

RANGERS WIN!

if you don't understand why this is a big deal then read this

there's no denying that this is a football town, heck the metroplex and much of this state/region find their sports identity with the Dallas Cowboys. I can't help but believe that this is partly due to the fact that the Cowboys are winners (I know, they haven't won in a while....) meanwhile the professional teams that came to Dallas after the 'Boys have all been sometimes lovable always losers. the Rangers have been the kings of loserdom as the Stars (the latest pro squad to call Dallas home) won a championship just a few short years after settling into the metroplex. the Mavs haven't won a championship but they've had great regular season success and they have gone deep into the playoffs. winning covers losing. the Cowboys have won 5 Super Bowls although they haven't won since the mid-90s they're still "winners" in most of our minds, same goes for the Stars although they haven't been a contender in over a decade that single championship means everything. the Mavs, never champions, have won just enough to be in our good graces. the Rangers hadn't won a thing, until last night. the Rangers had always been there for us when we needed to go to a pro game but didn't want to spend a lotta money. they were there when the first sport we played was baseball and they were there when we needed a ball cap (I love my Cowboys hat but baseball is the only sport that has an article of clothing, a piece of their game day uniform, that can be worn by a regular Joe and Joe not be considered white trash. am I right?) the Rangers are finally "there" in mid-October and it feels wonderful, like a Canada Dry shower

Hambone doesn't do alcohol showers so his teammates shook up plastic bottles of ginger ale and showered the lockerroom with sweet, sweet airplane refreshing goodness. as someone tweeted last night "now that's a team"

the journey isn't over yet but let's acknowledge all of the teams in Rangers past (by way of logo) starting with the AL West champion, antler and claw throwin', 2010 Texas Rangers. ALCS HERE WE COME!

it's time.

STOP THE MAVNESS!!!

do you see that hideous glowing blue jersey on the right? is that a new Dallas Mavericks jersey?? please. no.

e-mail Mark (mark.cuban@dallasmavs.com) and suggest one of these two great options-

think of the children

please Chris Kaman to the Mavs

reaction to Dampier trade

“I strongly disagree with Erick Dampier's recent comments and we are not going to engage in any related discussion on it. Going forward, we’re very excited about the Mavericks and the positive future of our region.”

NBA draft is tonight

Mavericks, please tell the Harlem Globetrotters that you'll be taking Mister Mark Titus off of their hands

mmm, mmm, toasty

Move Over Donnie, There's a New GM in Town!!!

We all know that Mavs fans have been making this face a lot lately:


...but it's time to turn that frown upside-down, because someone has put forth some great - no, FANTASTIC - ideas on where to go with the Mavericks' roster!

I found this little gem buried on espn.com's comments section in a piece that Skin wrote about how to get the Atlanta Hawks' Joe Johnson to the Mavs.

It seems an armchair general manager by the name of "GrenceHarvey" has a pretty radical idea that nobody in the Dallas area or the sports media on the local or national level has even begun to consider yet. Instead of Joe Johnson, why don't we try and get someone better than Joe Johnson? Better yet, the argument is in all caps! I'll admit that definitely increased its effectiveness.

Keep in mind this was written between games 5 and 6 of the Cavs-Celtics series, so LeBron was still in the playoffs but the Cavs looked extremely vulnerable.

OK, enough with the backstory already!!! Let's get to the master plan! Hit it, Harvey! (His comments are in bold text, with my interjections in good ol' Mavs blue!)

if i were the GM of the team, i'll do his like this:

1.) IF THE CAVS WONT WIN THE TITLE THIS SEASON, IM SURE LEBRON WONT EXTEND HIS CONTRACT WITH THEM. SO HE'LL BECOME A GREE AGENT.

Not sure what a "gree agent" is, but I think we all agree he'll be bidding farewell to the land of Cleve! I mean Cleveland you guys!

2.) NOW LEBRON IS A FREE AGENT, I'LL SIGN HIM DIRECTLY.

Hey! Not a bad plan. I hear he's good!

3.) NEXT IS THIS: I'LL TRADE SHAN MARION AND HAYWOOD OR DAMP FOR KAMAN.

He's talking about the LA Clippers' Chris Kaman who plays center. Technically Brendan Haywood doesn't have a contract with the Mavericks, so we don't know how much he would make if Dallas did re-sign him, but let's assume he and "Shan Marion" make roughly the same that Kaman does. Great trade! With Blake Griffin back and impervious to future injury, Donald Sterling doesn't need a backup center.

=SO THE LINEUP WILL BE LIKE THIS:
PG= KIDD SG=BUTLER SF=JAMES PF=DIRK C=KAMAN
BENCH: TERRY, BEAUBOIS, BAREA, NAJERA, HAYWOOD OR DAMP, THOMAS, STEVENSON, CARROLL.

Wow! Great job, GM! Where's the line for season tickets?!

BUT IF THE CAVS WILL WIN THE TITLE:
1.) SIGN DWADE RATHER THAN JOE JOHNSON... DWADE: MUCH YOUNGER, TOUGHER, SCORER...

"DWADE" is referring to the Miami Heat's Dwyane Wade. And if "seven months" is a lot younger, then you're absolutely correct, Harv! Looks like the court has ruled a unanimous decision in the case of "Joe v Wade"!!!

2.) TRADE BUTLER AND HAYWOOD OR DAMP FOR KAMAN OR DAVID LEE.

No arguments here! Although I'm a little surprised you got the Knicks to give up their best player. Well, I guess he's not the best player once they sign LeBron! Oh, wait, you said he's staying with the Cavs in this scenario. Did they get Dwyane Wade then? Hold up - he's with us. Well I guess they just got tired of underpaying him and let him walk. Your negotiating skills never cease to amaze me!

LINEUP:
PG KIDD, SG WADE, SF MARION, PF DIRK, C KAMAN OR LEE

BENCH: TERRY, BEAUBOIS, BAREA, NAJERA, HAYWOOD OR DAMP, STEVENSON, THOMAS, CARROLL

Wow! Will this team EVER lose?! I know you kind of glossed over the fact that four of those guys are currently free agents, but I suppose you're just so good of a GM that you re-signed them all without so much as a mention!

So there you have it. The future is bright for your Dallas Mavericks, so get ready for our string of multiple championships!

because I've already moved on...

seriously? no. I'm still so pissed I could spit that Rick "Butterfly Kisses" Carlisle screwed up the Mavericks' playoff hopes by leaving our most valuable weapon (Roddy B.) on the bench for most of the series....

but when I look at Zach Galifianakis and Tony Romo laughing together I can't help but feel that all is right in the world. at least for that moment.

Deshawn, Abe and Adam's apple

The Dirk abides

Sports so much talk

so I'm a little down after I couldn't find an embeddable copy of the video of Mark Cuban seemingly fighting an official at a Mavs game (it was an April Fools joke that has to be the number one April Fools joke of all sports time)

but the Cows did release two expensive old dudes (which I'm told was a good move) and the Eagles traded away their "Brett Favre" so I can't be too upset. well, the 'Skins did just get the best QB they've had in ever. so the NFL season is light years away and baseball just started, I kinda understand why Ron did cocaine...

when you're flyin' a Jet you better wear a mask

this is what I thought Jet might look like-
and this is what he looked like- pretty close, huh?

maybe Faith Hill is not such a bad singer after all

is this what Jet will look like after surgery?

MeShawn Stevenson a.k.a. costume 2010

gaze upon the glory

first things first- Paul Lukas over at Uni-Watch totally rocked my world, again, by revealing the Brad Childress has a hearing imparement!!!?! I. feel. like. a. horse's. pa. toot. (you'll see why later) also who knew that Brad Childress and Flozell Adams had/have ANYTHING in common? surprise, surprise, surprise... here are some random conference championship/Super Bowl thoughts I had (and tweeted)
-Mark Sanchez shaved his playoff stubble (off ) and wore an undershirt to his post game press conference. that makes him the second best dressed starting quarterback in Sunday's post game pressers. Sanchez is behind Peyton Manning who wore a suit and looked like he was serious (but it's just a game!) meanwhile Brett Farve looked like a old dead body that had been propped up behind a few microphones (he's second worst dressed) and Dree Brews wore that stupid Newsies hat that Tony Romo can't seem to get away from (can escape almost any rushing defender but can't get away from that damn hat) so Brews, step it up for the Super Bowl

-Gary Brackett does not look like a football player, he will be a very successful R&B producer when he stops faking football.

-Sunday = National French League football because, presumedly, the only two Pierre's in the league won their games (Pierre Garcon of Indy and Pierre Thomas of N.O.)

-every time Farve says that he's going to "talk" with his family his entire family rolls their eyes. they hate him more than I do

-did you know the NBA scheduled games during the NFL's conference championship games? idiots. so you missed the Mavs 50 point demolishing of the New York Knocks, otherwise known as the Knocks worst home loss (at the Garden) ever! but seriously, why is the Garden such a big deal? who cares!

-Pam Oliver tried to make Reggie Bush cry when she interviewed him after the game "are you going to be alright?" bitch, please!

-believe it or not both Matt Lineheart and Reggie Bush have made it to a Super Bowl, ridiculous. neither got their the way we might have thought they would (at least, the way we thought they would before they played Vince Young in the Rose Bowl. speaking of Young, he's going to the Pro Bowl for being the only quarterback in the AFC that didn't say "no, I don't wanna play in that joke of a game!")

-when it's all said and done the Saints will have played 3 straight games against 3 Hall of Fame quarterbacks, pretty remarkable (he remarked)

-Manning's heading back to the site of his first Super Bowl (let's pray for no rain this time) and Brews is finally going to the city he should have landed in as a free agent

-last time both #1 seeds made it to the Super Bowl? 1993, Dallas vs. Buffalo

-between Favre's interceptions and Peterson's fumbles you had to know they couldn't win the Super Bowl and you can't be surprised that they didn't even make it that far

-Childress actually wore a Motorola headset! probably bought it at a mall kiosk

-can Brett Farve finally retire to Valhalla?

"Los Mavs" Indeed...

I don't know when "Los Mavs" night is this year, but if they were smart, they'd give JJ Barea and newcomer-for-the-second-time Eddie Najera the start.

What better way to tip the cap to the Hispanic population? You know, other than some empty gesture of just adding a Spanish article before the team name on our jerseys that's really more of a marketing ploy to sell more Mavericks gear to Latinos.

Though I will admit that I am skeptical that we even owe anything to the Hispanic population in the first place. I think the Mavericks should have a German culture appreciation night... technically speaking, don't we owe those guys more of our gratitude than we do Hispanics?

Besides, I wouldn't be caught dead in a Los Mavs jersey, but you better believe I'd be first in line for our alternate "DIE ALLEINGÄNGER" jerseys. (Thanks, freetranslation.com!)

Ross - get to photoshoppin'!

Mark Cuban's about to have a real crisis on his hands

just noticed that the Mavs are playing the Raptors at 11:30 a.m. this Sunday, the same day (and close to same time) that the Cowboys play the Vikings at 12:00 p.m. so.... is Goodell messin' with Cuban? not really cuz the Mavs are on the road and I'm betting that Cubes doesn't care about the Raptors ticket sales. what say you?

p.s. welcome back, Senor Eduardo Najera.