The Return of NBA Jam, Part III

yello, it's time for the best in the West a.k.a. the Pacific division. as Guynes pointed out to me last night- the original NBA Jam was missing a huge (if not the hugest) star, Michael Jordan, cuz he c-blocked the use of his image. keep this in mind...

Sacramento- OMRI CASSPI (because NBA Jam needs a Jew) and Kevin Martin (I know, you can't believe I'd put Casspi over Tyreke Evans well complain about it in the comments! I can imagine we won't have anyone complaining about the absence of Desmond Mason or Sean May...)
Pheenix- Steven Nash and Amare Stoudemire (honorable mention goes to Jason Richardson and Grant Hill)
Los Angeles (Lakers)- Pau Gasol and Sasha Vujacic (Kobe CB'ed what otherwise could have been the best team in NBA Jam history OH WAIT, PAU IS A JOKE. SOMEBODY GIVE THAT MAN AN "L". also I would love to see a Luke Walton/Jordan Farmar team, even an ex-Mavs Josh Powell/D.J. Mbenga squad or lastly the Ron Artest/Lamar Odom carnival. sorry Adam Morrison, couldn't find anyone for you to play with STORY OF HIS LIFE)
Los Angeles (Clippers)- too easy, Baron "The Beard" Davis and Chris "uglier than Rik Smits' scrotum" Kaman
Golden State- for a team devoid of a superstar/franchise player (isn't Devean George a franchise player?) I'm gonna go with Monta "don't call me Monte" Ellis and Andris "my tan, my hair, my beauty" Biedrins

I tire. nap time

The Return of NBA Jam, Part II

Great post, Guynes! If you haven't seen it, here's The Return of NBA Jam, Part I. Although we all know that the West side is the best side, I'm going to knock out the East. Here are my choices for these teams' lineups for the new NBA Jam...

Atlantic

Boston: Rajon Rondo and Paul Pierce
A number of good combos here...Rondo/KG, Pierce/KG, Allen/Pierce, Allen/KG. Plus, the Tourney Edish could include 'Sheed and Big Baby. Celts have a strong NBA Jam roster.

Toronto: Chris Bosh and Hedo Turkoglu
Would it be fun to break a press with this team? No. But Hedo and Bargnani are both better than Jose Calderon, so it seemed silly to put him on the team.

New York: David Lee and Nate Robinson
I know Nate Robinson comes off the bench...if he even plays. But Kryptonate belongs.

Philadelphia: Andre Iguodala and Elton Brand
This is the NBA Jam equivalent of "Hi...I'm in Delaware."

New Jersey: Devin Harris and Brook Lopez
Speed and quicks are big assets, precision passing...not as much. Devin Duck, meet water!

Central

Cleveland: LeBron James and Mo Williams
I can't fathom how good NBA Jam LeBron will be. He won't need 40 year old Shaq's help guarding bigs, so we're going with Mo.

Milwaukee: Brandon Jennings and Andrew Bogut
This was easy and Yung Buck's flat top is a must-include.

Chicago: Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah
Luol Deng is better statistically, but Noah's hair makes him more video game friendly.

Detroit: Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva
Yes, Rip Hamilton better represents the Pistons, but Ben Gordon catches fire in real life and I wanna see if CV can tweet at halftime (Is it in the game, EA?!?)

Indiana: Danny Granger and Roy Hibbert
Uh-oh, competition for my earlier Delaware comment. I'm guessing the Pacers aren't gonna get a lot of burn in this game.

Southeast

Orlando: Dwight Howard and Vince Carter
Sorry, Jameer. It was close though.

Atlanta: Joe Johnson and Josh Smith
Quietly, a sick team.

Miami: Dwyane Wade and Michael Beasley
Never playing as this stupid team...

Charlotte: Gerald Wallace and Tyson Chandler
Somebody just threw their hat in the Delaware ring! NBA Jam Achievement: Play 5 games with Charlotte.

Washington: Gilbert Arenas and Caron Butler
Butler and Jamison might be a better team, but Agent Zero opens the door for gambling or first person shooter side games. Hibachi!!!

The Return of NBA Jam, Part I

The original two-man game is back!!!

Ross and I have been clamoring for the return of NBA Jam for years now, and in the last week blogs of both the video game and sports persuasion are now reporting that the game is coming to one or more consoles via download, like XBox Live Arcade or the Virtual Console (though ESPN's article says "retail", which would mean a packaged game). It hasn't officially been announced, but it seems like a reimagining of the game is coming to the Wii (exclusively, according to ESPN) or possibly the XBox360 as well (according to video game sites like Kotaku).

I figured this was a near-impossibility once Midway shut down (it declared bankruptcy last year), and though they sold the rights to some of their more famous IPs like Mortal Kombat, I didn't hear anything about NBA Jam. Seems like Electronic Arts has bought the rights, and here we are, contemplating what could be NBA Jam 2010.

It's a no-brainer that the graphics will be updated while keeping the gameplay basically the same. (I wouldn't hate on them if they kept to 16- or 32-bit graphics though for the full throwback effect, but they'll undoubtedly give the game some needed polish.)

So what will need to be updated, of course, are the rosters, and the announcer phrases. In an effort to get a bit of blog discussion going, what would the rosters look like? I'll take one of the divisions in the NBA and break it down, leaving the others up for grabs.

Since I'm going first, I'm picking the Southwest division. We're going NBA Jam rules, not NBA Tournament Edition where you could sub one or two players. Ideally you want starters, not players off of the bench, and different positions when possible (no small forward/power forward or shooting guard/point guard combos).

Dallas Mavericks - Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Kidd (no hating on J-Ho or JET, but this would be the best one-two punch)
Houston Rockets - Aaron Brooks and Carl Landry (Landry's not a starter, but I like him better than Scola, and his stats are slightly better, too)
Memphis Grizzlies - Rudy Gay and O.J. Mayo (Zach Randolph is working his tail off this year, but don't deny me Gay Mayo)
New Orleans Hornets - Chris Paul and David West (I thought this one was pretty easy)
San Antonio Spurs - Tim Duncan and Tony Parker (I'm dismissing Ginobili because he's not a starter and I don't want to see him in Big Head Mode)

BONUS: Announcer Phrase for 2010 (to be spoken after a shot that falls short of the rim)
"Short bus!"

(I think Dirk might have the copyright on "Short Bus" so this could be an opportunity for him to collect royalties.)

I look forward to additional input and additional rosters...