Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Sports Rant

I have decided that this blog will now be a forum to where I can share with you all what is wrong with the world. Since this is a historic time of Rangers Baseball, I thought I would start off with something relevant. Let's get right to it.

Who remembers the Dot Race? The event in the 7th inning most looked forward to by pre-teen Richard S. Yager has been bastardized. As a young child, any given Ranger game went as follows:

1. Get to the Ballpark

2. Receive your dot race color and coupon by the people just inside the gates

3. Get a pretzel with plenty of mustard

4. Find your seats after giving your calves a nice work-out. This was the 90's here, Rangers be winning pennants.

5. Watch Nolan Ryan beat down our opponent

6. Pretzel is gone, game slowing down, getting restless. Thankfully there is a dot race on the horizon. Two sporting events in one evening!

7. GAME TIME! Who's it gonna be? Blue? Red? Green?

Before the legendary race, I would pick a color with my friends and chauffeur-accompanied dad. I felt invested in that color and I knew I made the right choice every time. The race commences. Some colors show an early lead but you know they aren't going to keep it. You almost glad to see your color isn't winning the race because you know they are saving that fire for the home stretch. Sometimes it ended in a clear victory, and sometimes a photo finish. You never knew what the dot race was going to have in store for you.

Let's Wayne's World it to 2010. The dot race on the video board is nonexistent. Instead, there are real-life dot costumes running down the 3rd base line in a pathetic attempt to entertain the crowd. There's so many things wrong with this. The Rangers baseball club PAID for these costumes and the people participating. The race is a total sham. If any of these 'dots' cared about winning, they wouldn't be jogging/walking to the finish line and allow 12 lead changes throughout the race. And you want to know the worst part about it, IF your color wins, CONGRATULATIONS! you win 50 cents off a 24-pack of Ozarka water bottles. I can't say I recall the prize for the dot race of old, but I can guaran-damn-tee you it was something more worthwhile than the current 'prize'.

I'm pretty sure even if the dot race went back to the video screen, it would end up in a photo finish every time and remove any need to watch the first 3 laps.

Dot Race of today, I hate you. Rangers, I will see you in the World Series.

Dot Race = RANTED.

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