Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Rant - Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket

Before I rant let’s make one thing perfectly clear, I LOVE Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket. There is NO other radio station I would rather listen to and would prefer to sit in silence than listen to The Fan. Although I would name my first kid Jub-Jub, I have my gripes with the little Ticket.

The Musers – 5:30-10:00 (George Dunham/Craig Miller/Gordon Keith)
I absolutely love the morning show. As a young tween, it was really the only time of day when I listened to The Ticket, while on my way to school. The chemistry between Craig and George is stellar, and Gordo’s daily line-crossing makes for an excellent radio show. I just wish I woke up early enough to hear more of it. Junior is probably my second favorite host out of the entire station. When Gordo does Muse In The News and Craig has no responsibilities, he is able to sit back and make jokes that are so bad, they’re hilarious. The "E-Brake of the Week" is bar none my favorite segment.

The Norm Hitzges Show – 10:00-12:00 (Norm Hitzges)
I never go out of my way to hear Norm. I never say to myself “It’s 10:00, I need to see what Norm’s up to”, but when I’m listening, I can’t stop. He sucks me in with his incredible knowledge of statistics and passion for all things sports, not to mention he is a drop machine. Pretty much everything he says I think to myself ‘I hope they marked that’. Norm is a radio legend and I love the man like a weird grandfather who doesn't really know what's going on in the world outside of sports.

BaD Radio – 12:00-3:00 – (Bob Sturm/Dan MacDowell/Donovan Lewis)
My gripes don’t really start until noon. Donovan, you suck and you bring nothing to the table. I am listening to The Ticket right now and Bob and Dan are discussing Benji Molina’s baserunning on game 5 of the ALDS and Donovan chimed in with “It looked like he had to go #2!!” We might as well have hired Big Al Mac from KISSFM because you both have the same contributions (my mom used to listen to Kidd Kraddick when taking me to grade school, I have a frame of reference). Bob is my favorite host and combined with Dan, they make the perfect chemistry. "Why Today Doesn't Suck" is a glorious 20 minute window of hosts joining forces to be wheels-off and provide comedy gold. Verdict = Less Donovan.

An open letter to Michael Gruber: Grubes, you are a master at your craft, which is playing perfectly timed drops, however, you need shut your damn mouth and not speak on the air. Go back to playing silly sound effects and let the hosts do their job. “Smoke monster, snarl”? I don’t understand how Bob and Dan find that funny, which in turn enables you to continue speaking. Perhaps it’s a sympathy laugh, perhaps it’s an effort of being polite because they have to work with you every day. You and Rhyner calling each other "Shoopie" is aslo very strange. I am reminded of the Seinfeld when Jerry and his girlfriend of the episode called each other "Schmoopie". Verdict = Less Grubes.

The Hardline – 3:00-7:00 (Mike Rhyner/Corby Davidson/Danny Balis)
I used to love the Hardline the most, now I think it’s my least favorite show. Every show is practically a carbon copy of itself. The 3 minute intro hasn't changed in years and any self-proclaimed P1 can also recite this word for word. Allow me:

"THREEEE thirty-two is the time. Thirty two minutes past 3pm Central Standard Time accoriding to the tower of the friendly mercantile. The tuner is on America's favorite radio station Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket. Warmest greetings tickheads and ticketchicks. It's Tuesday December 14th and time to heed to, trice up, mill about smartly throughout the premises making certain all radios are tuned to America's favorite sports station 1310 The Ticket. This is Mike Rhyner coming at you from the nurturing bioshpere of the mothership. Thank you for joining us while we invade your personal space. With us today, The Knox City Knocker Danpaul Balis, Matt Maclaren on tickers, Alexis with traffico-traffico, at the helm, Shoopie, but right now, lets bring on the man who can elevate that line to the state it needs to be at. Put your hands together for the Cobra."

I enjoy Mike's Mind because the'yre still coming down from "Why Today Doesn't Suck" and messing around. Even though I still listen to it on the way home, the rest of the show bores me. Corby is so over-the-top with his "Best (insert anything here, band, song, ice cream flavor, OU player) EVER". I hate it when it's time for the "College Football Blowhard" because that's when he gets on his soap box and says he knows everything about college football. "E-news" doesn't do it for me anymore. "The Pool Party" is fun when Danny has the reigns. Overall, it seems the Old Grey Wolf is going through the motions and isn't giving me much to look forward to anymore...although I still get pissed when they go off air early to air Stars games. Maybe it's my distatse for the NHL, but that's another rant.

I still love you, Ticket. Disagreements are natural in relationships of any kind.

Well that's our show for today. We do thank you for allowing us to invade your personal space. Join us tomorrow at 5:30 when that crazy Dunham & Miller program airs, but until then stay hard and keep jammin, and we'll see ya.


Rosser said...

I agree that E-news has lost its luster. Wha happened? Still love the concert calendar though. And either today or tomorrow's glorious chipmunk WTDS...

Michael said...

Sorry, Rick. :( I'll try to be more mindful of how much I talk on air...Love you.